


"Hypothetical AU Meme" not!fics

by greedy_dancer



Category: Bandom, Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, The Academy Is...
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Magic, M/M, Notfic, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 17:35:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19114474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greedy_dancer/pseuds/greedy_dancer
Summary: A couple notfics originally written in 2011 on LJ:Mainly: Mikey wishes for a big brother (Fairytale AU) + tiny orphan Frank and Gerard and Mikey the lordlings meet Brian the Enchanter (Sword in the Stone AU).





	1. Fairytale AU - for turps33

**Author's Note:**

  * For [turps](https://archiveofourown.org/users/turps/gifts), [turlough](https://archiveofourown.org/users/turlough/gifts), [ladyfoxxx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyfoxxx/gifts), [draconic_girl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/draconic_girl/gifts), [mizubyte](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mizubyte/gifts).



> These were all written in 2011 on Livejournal, reposted here for safekeeping. (Bandom never dies!)

Okay then, this is the story of Mikey Way. He's an only child and he's very lonely and miserable :( And he wishes he had a sibling, but when he tells his parents about it they say maybe they can give him a little sister or brother, but what Mikey really wants is an OLDER brother. His parents laugh at him when he tells them, and they say that maybe if he wishes it hard enough it might happen, ha ha ha, what a crazy kid they have, seriously.  
  
BUT! Elena recognizes Mikey's loneliness. He's the creepy kid who lives in the creepy house with the creepy mom, he doesn't have any friends since his best friend from preschool, Pete, moved away to Chicago - and Elena's actually a bit of a witch, so she gives Mikey a creepy doll and a spell to repeat or something, and Mikey drags his creepy doll everywhere with him - and his parents are totally mad at Elena because it's not like Mikey needed anything to make him weirder to the outside world, GOD.

Mikey names his doll Gerard and tells him all his secrets and makes up stories wishes and wishes and one day he wakes up and GERARD IS REAL!! He's a living boy and he's SO AWESOME and he totally loves Mikey and knows all his favorite games and comics and songs and he draws super well and he's always making jokes that make Mikey laugh.  
  
BUT! Obviously there's a catch. And the catch is that only Mikey and Elena can see that Gerard is real. And Mikey's parents tolerate his weirdness for a while, because all kids have imaginary friends, but one day Mikey's mom comes into Elena's flat and sees that Elena and Mikey have actually seated that creepy doll at the table and given him tea and cookies and are talking to him like the doll is talking BACK, she gets really scared that Elena is losing it in her old age, and taking Mikey down with her.  
  
So... She does the only thing she can think of, because all she wants for Mikey is to be happy IN THE REAL WORLD and for him to go outside and make some REAL FRIENDS, not just stay inside with his doll and his grandma all the time, that's just not healthy for a boy of 6.

Also, the doll is really creeping her out, because she could swear that sometimes it's looking at her, and the other day she found it in the kitchen when she was SURE she'd put it back in Mikey's room after Mikey went to school - Mikey's teacher had called home and asked that Mikey please leave the doll at home from now on because it was distracting him from class.

So Mama Way sneaks into Mikey's room one night and pries Ge- the DOLL, it's JUST A DOLL, out of Mikey's arms where he's clutching it tight. She wanted to throw it away but she can't, for some reason, the doll looks at her with pleading eyes and she thinks she's really really stupid but in the end she puts it in a box and asks her husband to put it in the attic.  
  
Cue DRAMA AND ANGST as Mikey wakes up and can't find Gerard anywhere, and Donna tells him she threw Gerard out - even though she DIDN'T, but she wants Mikey to get over it - and when Mikey starts looking through the garbage she tells him it's no use, the garbage truck came in the morning and the doll is probably compacted or burnt by now. GERAAAAARD NOOOOOOO! :'((((  
  
So there's a lot of crying and shouting and slamming doors, but trying to make his parents understand that Gerard IS REAL AND IS MIKEY'S BIG BROTHER AND THEY KILLED HIM is impossible.

Elena tries to help but it's no use, and she knows that if Donna puts her in the hospital because she sounds too crazy, it's not going to help Mikey at all.  
  
So Mikey's a million times more miserable than before, and no shrink can help, and no amount of time or gifts or affection from his parents seems to cheer him up :'(((( Elena cuddles him a lot and tells him she remembers Gerard, too, but it's not ENOUGH, Mikey wants him BACK and he's GONE FOREVER.

SO! There should be some kind of terrible angsty twist, like Mikey deciding that he can't stay with his parents since they MURDERED GERARD. So he runs away one night to try and find him, and he leaves a note, all "GOIN TO FIN JERAD" (because he can't spell that well yet, he's only 6). Mikey's going to find the landfill, because maybe Gerard is there, right? Maybe he wasn't compacted or burnt.

And that night Donna is so crazy with fear over her little boy running away that she comes clean to Elena and tells her Gerard is in the box in the attic, and Elena does something magical with her witch powers and LO! When Donna and Elena go to the attic THERE IS A REAL BOY THERE, they can all see him, and he's all "OMG GOTTA FIND MIKEY, QUICK, I KNOW WHERE HE IS!" 

So Donna kind of follows his directions to the landfill, and they find Mikey on the side of the road clutching his little Transformers backpack and his Ninja Turtles flashlight, and Mikey's crying and cold and terrified of the dark, and when he sees his mom and grandma and GERARD he rushes towards them and Donna gives him the biggest hug and she doesn't even scold him for running away, she just strokes his hair and squeezes him a lot and tells him she's so, so sorry and she KNOWS now and she can totally see Gerard, too, and Gerard totally saved Mikey like a real big brother would have.  
  
So they all go home and Donna and Elena take turns bringing Mikey medicine in his sick bed, because of course he gets sick, but Gerard stays with him all the time and reads him stories and talks to him about all the cool stuff that he did in the attic while he was there, like, did Mikey know there's a bunch of other dolls up there, and a ton of old comics, he should totally come check them out as soon as he's better.  
  
And so Gerard becomes the Way's older son, and everyone seems to accept that he's been there all along, and in the fall he goes to school with Mikey and together they befriend Frank and Ray and Bob and Mike, and they all live happily ever after.

 


	2. Sword in the Stone AU - for turlough

So, there's Frank (always Frank) the small, sickly orphan, who's a squire at a knight's castle. The knight doesn't like Frank, but fortunately he's got a pair of wards that Frank likes and who like him - the Way brothers, two lordlings who were taken on to receive a knightly education. So Frank and the Ways get up to lots of shenanigans together when Frank doesn't have chores (or when he isn't too sick), and Frank's life is not so bad, really. (Except for scrubbing the pots. He hates scrubbing the pots.)

And then one day Frank and the Ways are playing Save the Princess (Gerard always volunteers to be the Princess, it's pretty sweet) in the forest, they get turned around and just when they think they're going to have to camp in the forest (yay!) and be punished when they go back to the castle (boooo) they stumble upon a weird thatched cabin. And inside!! There's a weird man with strange designs on his skin! It's Brian the Enchanter!

Brian says he comes from the future. He's a weird kind of guy, and he's got a talking owl named Bob and also a talking raccoon named Ray. 

The boys love him immediately, even though he's kind of cranky and pinches the bridge of his nose a lot like he's got a headache and facepalms at half the stuff they say. Like Frank and Mikey saying they don't know their letters yet. Or Gerard saying they haven't taken baths in three weeks.

So Brian decides he's going to be the boys' tutor, and he accompanies them back to the castle after packing all his stuff in a tiny tiny suitcase by MAGIC. The boys are suitably impressed. They help carry Bob and Ray's cages - even though both protest that they would go faster if Brian released them, because duh, Bob can FLY.

The knight isn't very interested in Brian setting up shop in his castle but a little show of magic is enough to convince him that Brian could turn him into a toad if he doesn't comply, so he lets Brian settle in the most dilapidated tower of the castle - which is not saying much, because the whole castle is kind of a ruin, to be honest. Gerard and Mikey and Frank often have to huddle for warmth together at night because the drafts keep snuffing out the fire and candles.

Then! Education montage! Brian starts teaching the boys to read and write, even Frank who is only an orphan! He makes them bathe in a tub with magic brushes scrubbing them all over! He turns them into little animals to teach them life lessons, under the grudging-but-loving supervision of Bob and Ray! He shows them stuff from the future, like weird lutes with shiny colors that make A LOT of noise and almost give the knight a heart attack, and a magical liquid Brian sprays on their clothes when they stink too much! He talks to them about how love is love no matter who, and when the boys make strange faces because ew, kissing is gross, Brian sighs and tells them they'll understand when they're older. Brian generally sighs and takes a lot of deep breaths a lot, but the boys know he really loves them anyway. 

SO! Something should actually happen. The king dies, and all knights are called to London for the tourney, and the honor to try and draw The Sword out of The Stone - obviously. 

The knight is preparing to go to London, too, and at first he only wants to take the Way brothers, because they're the lordlings, and Gerard is the only one even remotely old enough to participate in the events, but Brian ~convinces him that he better take Frank with. So Frank goes to London as Gerard's squire.

Then there are shenanigans in London! And the boys see lots of knights in shining armor and pretty ladies in beautiful dresses, and Gerard rides in the lances event and holds his own for a little while before he gets knocked down, and he even gets kissed by a maid for his trouble - ewwwww, Frank and Mikey say, so Gerard has to make like he liked it just to be contrary, but in truth, he's pretty ewww himself and he's have much rather kissed Frank >.> and maybe now he gets what Brian was always telling them about "love is love" and "you can kiss whoever you want." 

And finally by some hand-wavy plot twist, Frank DRAWS THE SWORD IN THE STONE! And there is weird light around him and singing and he gets kind of freaked out, but Gerard and Mikey are here to reassure him.

SO IT TURNS OUT FRANK IS THE CHOSEN KING. But he's only a little orphan squire of barely 10! What is he going to dooooo? 

He starts by naming Gerard and Mikey his first knights and moving them to the room next to his in the castle - a large and well-lit room, with a big fireplace, not like his previous room when he was only a small, sick orphan. And Brian has the room on the other side, and continues their education and becomes Frank's most trusted advisor, of course, and he convinces him that he has to have a round table made, which is kind of stupid, Frank thinks, but it seems it's kind of important, so why the fuck not. 

And so with the help of Brian the Enchanter and the friendship and love of the Way Knights, King Frank rules over the kingdom of Britain! And they all have adventures and save lots of lives and become legends.


	3. American Gods AU - for mizubyte

This is the story of Frank going on a journey and meeting Bandom-as-Gods along the way. 

The Ways are the 2 faces of Janus, who presides over beginnings and endings, transitions and passages. 

Bob is a Norse god, of course, some sort of Warrior type. Ray... is there a god of hair? Or some sort of god of music. 

And Gabe Saporta is a trickster God, William Beckett an androgynous Egyptian god... 

Anyway, there's some kind of threat to the world, evil BLI types who want to ban music, and obviously this threatens the old gods who live in songs! So Frank rallies them all around him and they fight the good fight.

Unfortunately for Frank, it's hard to get laid when you're surrounded by gods, because beholding their true form is fatal for poor humans. But it's well known that gods like to disguise themselves and ~~visit humans anyway, so maybe there's a golden shower in his future! (NO, NOT THAT KIND OF GOLDEN SHOWER!) ((Maybe Frank gets pregnant with twin eggs! :p))


	4. Sitcom AU - for ladyfoxxx

This is a gay sitcom bought by an LGBT cable channel! And it's not drama like QAF or L Word, but more like Friends, except with a token straight friend instead of a gay one. 

And it's set in a nightclub. Pete Wentz and Gabe Saporta are the owners, and there's the scenes at the bar, where hilarious faily hookups happen, and the bathroom, where... the same happens, except with added making out scenes, and the stage where the dancers are, and backstage etc. 

MCR are old friends who've all hooked up once or twice, Panic are the hilarious bb!queers, and of course the Bandom girls are all queer, too. 

So that's the on-camera stuff, but off-set it's a whole other story! The corporate sharks are pushing for more sex and the writers/producers/actors are trying to resist, because they want to show that you can make a hit tv show that deals with LGBT issues without turning it into porn. And there's also ego battles, and straight actors dealing with ~feelings because they're doing a lot of boykissing! 

And of course the bloopers would be hilarious, because of all the people who can't keep a straight face when they have to kiss. *g*


	5. "Coffee Pirates" AU - for draconic_girl

Can they be coffee bootleggers, instead? In a prohibition-type setup? The Way brothers are secretly brewing coffee in their Jersey basement, and Frank and Ray are their drivers and get the grounds to the coffee speakeasies all over the East coast. 

But when Saporta's gang tries to encroach on their territory with their smuggled Uruguayan beans, the Jersey Java boys have to make an alliance with Wentz's men in Chicago to defend their territories!

Over the course of their operations, Pete's man, Bob Bryar, decides to join the Jersey boys, because he likes their brew *cough*Mikey*cough* better than Pete's.

In the end of course they make a deal with Saporta and organize coffee distribution in the whole of the US! And meanwhile, Pete stirred up public opinion in his pamphlets (written with Ryan Ross) and the Ways lead the Coffee Revolution!! And totally save everyone from sad, coffee-deprived lives, the end.


End file.
